Played by two inexperienced, singularly untalented pool players, the game was an exciting Mexican standoff: the balls steadfastly refused to sink into the pockets, as the opponents engaged in a furious battle of Who Will Suck Less.

It was clear how this game was going to go when both players showed up at The Elbow Room and realized that neither of them were sure of the rules.  Wolfmann, however showed a slight edge over our billiard-virgin editor in chief when he asked for a game of eight-ball, prompting Fonacier to ask, "You mean, we take turns shaking the eight ball and whoever gets the best answer wins?"  When informed that eight-ball pool had nothing to do with the Magic Eight Ball toys, Fonacier turned slightly pale and said, "I knew that."

It might be worth noting that Fonacier has only ever held a pool cue twice before: the last time ended with her tutor holding her head in her hands, crying.  On the other hand, Wolfmann claims only to have played football in Grade 2, while Fonacier was a varsity fencing team captain in college.  Buoyed by an arrogant self-confidence, Fonacier also ceded the first turn back to Wolfmann, since, she said, "I'm not done with my beer yet." Ah, a true sportswoman.

Wolfmann immediately sank three in a row.  "Wooh!" he said, howling like, well, like a wolfman. Fonacier, bemused by his early lead, raised an eyebrow and asked, "Are you sure you're not a pool player... Wilfrid?"

Stunned by his opponent being able to guess his real name, Wolfmann flubbed his next shot.  Fonacier then managed to pocket one ball, before fouling out again as she nudged a couple a couple of billiard balls while trying to address the cue ball.  "Oh, no. I just touched many ball," she gasped, before clapping her hand over her mouth.  "Don't quote me."

Wolfmann held on to his lead for a while, before Fonacier evened up the score with two lucky shots.  It was head-to-head for a while after that, with clearly more experienced players on the other tables gawking at the table, pitying the two clearly sucky players.

The action reached a crescendo when Wolfmann managed to pocket his next-to-last solid.  "Hey, I think I just might win!" he said in awe.  He missed the difficult next shot, allowing Fonacier to sink two stripes and pull in to a tie again.  The last ball proved to be elusive for both player, until, finally, fighting the effects of frustration, fatigue, and three more beers, Wolfmann managed to sink the last solid and the eight ball.  "I win!" he yelled, before sitting down in one of The Elbow Room's comfortable booths.  He compares this game of pool to a bad gig he played in Intramuros, where people were throwing nails and chewing gum at his head.  "Let's never do this again."

more of this great article in the September 2004 issue of MTV INK Magazine available in bookstores and newstands everywhere.